“As a new mom, you may feel bombarded with advice on the “right” way to parent. You start to question everything from the baby gear you buy to how much screen time is allowed. My Mommy Style Embrace the Mom You Are. Before you get swept away in a sea of expert opinions and must-have products, take a step back to reflect on what parenting style resonates most with your values and priorities. The mom you are is the best mom for your child.”
This article provides reflective prompts and advice to help you gain confidence in the parenting decisions that feel right for your family. Rather than chasing an unattainable ideal of the “perfect” mom, give yourself the grace to explore what motivates you and brings you joy in motherhood. Learn strategies to set boundaries, ask for help when you need it, and nurture yourself so you can be fully present for your child. Your mommy style is uniquely you – embrace it!
Define Your Unique Mommy Style
To define your unique mommy style, first reflect on the type of mom you want to be. Do you prefer a more active, hands-on approach or a more laid-back style? Are you the nurturing, caring type or do you take a tough-love stance? Every mother has her own way of parenting that is shaped by her experiences, values, and personality.
Once you determine the kind of mom you aspire to be, set some guidelines and boundaries. For example, if you want to be an active, engaged mother, you may set a rule to limit screen time and prioritize interactive play. If you prefer to be more relaxed, you could establish that chores and activities should not become too scheduled or rigid. The key is to choose an approach you can maintain long-term.
An important part of your mommy style is also how you discipline and set limits. Some mothers take a gentle, communicative stance, using time-outs and behavior charts. Others may use a stricter system with clear rules and consequences. There are many effective strategies, so go with what fits your values and which you can follow through with consistently.
Your unique mommy style will evolve as your children grow, but staying true to the type of mother you want to be will help you feel confident in your parenting choices. Make sure to also schedule self-care, connect with other moms for support, and be flexible as needed. Most of all, embrace the amazing mother you are to your kids each and every day.
Stop Comparing Yourself to Other Moms
As a mother, it’s easy to compare yourself to other moms. Social media and parenting forums make it simple to see what other mothers are doing and judge yourself for it. But the truth is, every mother’s situation is different. Stop comparing yourself to other moms.
Focus on your own unique situation and needs. Do what works for you and your family. Don’t feel guilty for the decisions you make as a parent. No two children are alike, so find what suits your child best. Listen to advice from others, but ultimately you know your child better than anyone else.
Comparing yourself to unattainable standards of motherhood will only make you feel inadequate and frustrated. Every mother struggles at times, so avoid judging other mothers too. Parenting is challenging enough without the added pressure of unrealistic societal expectations.
Embrace the Mom You Are
Instead of comparing yourself to other moms:
- Celebrate your strengths. Every mother has skills and talents that make them a great parent. Recognize what makes you uniquely you.
- Accept that you cannot do everything. Learn to say no and don’t feel bad about it. Ask for help when you need it. Delegate when possible.
- Take care of yourself. Make time for yourself to avoid burnout. Stay socially connected to other moms. Join a local parenting group. Your mental and physical health directly impacts your ability to care for your child.
- Focus on what really matters. Don’t get caught up in unimportant details. Concentrate on loving your child and creating meaningful memories together. The little things won’t matter in the long run.
You are the best mother for your child. Appreciate yourself for the amazing mom you are. Stop the comparison and embrace this rewarding stage of life. You’ve got this!
Ask for Help When You Need It
Asking for help when you need it is one of the most important life skills to develop as a new parent. No one can handle the responsibilities of caring for an infant alone, no matter how confident or capable they are. Reach out to your partner, family, and friends for support.
Delegate When Possible
Your time and energy are limited, so delegate tasks when you can. Ask your partner or a grandparent to watch the baby while you nap, shower, or run an errand. Request that a friend or family member brings you a meal, help with chores like laundry or vacuuming or pick up essentials from the store. Let others who offer help know specific ways they can assist you.
Build Your Village
Surround yourself with other experienced parents and caretakers. Join a local parent group to find a community of empathy and advice. Ask your pediatrician to recommend a postpartum support group. See if your place of worship offers programs for new parents. Build connections with other parents facing similar challenges. Your village can offer guidance and reassurance.
Don’t Be Afraid to Ask
As a new parent, there are countless questions you’ll have about caring for your baby. Don’t hesitate to call your pediatrician 24 hours a day with any concerns about your child’s health, development, or safety. Ask your baby’s grandparents, aunts, uncles, and family friends about their experiences with parenting and child-rearing. Their wisdom and stories can help put you at ease during difficult moments.
Seek Professional Help if Needed
If at any time you feel overwhelmed by anxiety, depression, or hopelessness, seek professional help right away. Speaking to a therapist or counselor can help you develop coping strategies and find resources for additional support. Your mental health and well-being are essential to being the best parent you can be. Asking for help when you need it most is a sign of strength, not weakness. With the support of others, you can embrace the mom you want to be.
Take Time for Yourself
As a mother, your days often revolve around meeting the needs of your children and family. It’s easy to neglect yourself in the process, but that is a mistake. Taking time for yourself is essential to your well-being and ability to care for others.
Make time each day to recharge by engaging in an activity you enjoy. Whether it’s reading, exercising, gardening, or pursuing a hobby, set aside time each day just for you. Start with just 15-30 minutes a day of uninterrupted time to do something for yourself. You will feel less stressed and more able to be present with your family.
Occasionally, take an extended period of time for yourself. Schedule a massage, meet a friend for coffee, or take a class on something that interests you. Consider asking your spouse or family member to watch the kids for a few hours so you can have time alone. Make the time to rest and rejuvenate.
Plan getaways and vacations without your children. As much as you love your family, time away from the daily routine of caregiving is vital. Take a weekend trip with friends or your spouse and leave the kids at home. Your whole family will benefit from you having opportunities to relax and recharge.
Mothers often feel guilty about taking time for themselves, but it is necessary for your well-being and ability to care for your family. By making your needs a priority, you will feel less stressed, more patient, and better able to give your best self to your loved ones. Take time each day, each week, and each month to do something just for you. You deserve it, and your family will thank you for it.
Practice self-care in all areas of your life – physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Get enough sleep, eat healthy, and limit excess sugar and caffeine. Engage in regular exercise like walking, yoga, or strength training. Make time for hobbies, social interaction, and creative pursuits that stimulate you mentally and emotionally. Reflect on the non-material aspects of life that give you meaning. By caring for yourself in a balanced way, you will have more wisdom, patience, and joy to offer the world.
Don’t Feel Guilty About Doing What Works for You
As a new mom, it’s easy to feel pulled in many directions with demands and expectations on your time. You may feel guilt over not perfectly balancing all your roles or meeting unrealistic societal standards of motherhood. However, the most important thing is that you embrace the kind of mom you want to be – not what others tell you you “should” be.
Focus on what works for your own situation and values. Don’t feel guilty about making the choices that are right for your family. Some options to consider include:
It’s essential for your own well-being and ability to care for your baby. Don’t feel guilty about taking some time for yourself to rest, connect with other adults, engage in hobbies or exercise. Your needs matter too.
Asking for help
Don’t try to do everything yourself. Ask family and friends for help with chores like cooking meals, running errands, or babysitting. Let others who care about you support you in a meaningful way. Learn to delegate when possible.
You can’t do everything, so decide what really matters to you. It’s okay if the house isn’t perfectly clean or you don’t make home-cooked meals every night. Do what you can and don’t feel guilty about the rest.
Finding your own path
Tune out the “mommy wars” and advice that doesn’t feel right for you. You know yourself and your baby best. Have confidence in your own instincts and find your own way of parenting that aligns with your values.
The newborn phase is challenging enough without piling on unrealistic expectations or guilt. Give yourself grace and permission to embrace the kind of mom you want to be. Do what works for your own situation and don’t feel guilty about the choices that are right for your family. The most important thing is enjoying this special time with your new baby.
Learn to Say No
Learning to say “no” is one of the most important life skills a mom can develop. As mothers, our natural instinct is to put the needs of our children and families first. However, this can often lead to overcommitting yourself by taking on more responsibilities than you can handle. It’s vital to establish boundaries and make your own self-care a priority.
Evaluate Your Priorities
Take time to determine what’s most important in your life. Your priorities may include faith, family, health, relationships, career, finances, hobbies, and community involvement. Recognize that you can’t do everything, so focus on what matters most. Learn to delegate when possible. Make a list of your key priorities and refer to them when new opportunities arise. Ask yourself if the new task aligns with your priorities before saying yes.
Don’t feel pressured into major life changes right away. Begin by saying no to small requests that you would normally feel obligated to accept. This could be declining an invitation to join the PTA, a neighborhood club, or a school event. Politely say that you appreciate being asked but need to pass at this time due to other commitments. Start with lower-risk situations until you gain more confidence.
When turning down a request, be honest but tactful about your reasons. Explain that while the opportunity sounds worthwhile, you need to limit overcommitting yourself. Your time and energy are limited, and you must be selective. Let people know you need to make self-care and recharging a priority in order to be your best self for your family and important responsibilities. Most individuals will understand if you communicate in a sincere, compassionate way.
Learning to say no is challenging but necessary. Start practicing today, and you’ll gain valuable time for yourself that will make you a better, happier, and healthier mom. Make self-care a priority, focus on what really matters, and be transparent in communicating your needs to others. Mastering this skill will enable you to embrace the mom you want to be.
Find Your Tribe of Like-Minded Moms
Finding a group of like-minded moms is essential for your well-being and embracing your mommy style. Connecting with other moms who share your values and priorities can help reduce feelings of isolation, provide empathy and advice, and allow you to tap into a support system.
Look for local mom groups on social media platforms, at your child’s school, place of worship, or community center. Don’t be afraid to try out a few different groups to find the right fit. Some options to consider include:
- Moms of Multiples: If you have twins or higher-order multiples, connecting with other moms in a similar situation can be invaluable. They understand the unique challenges that come with parenting multiples.
2. Working Moms Groups: As a working mom, finding moms with a similar work-life balance struggle can provide much-needed support. Swap advice on childcare options, scheduling, and reducing guilt.
3. Special Needs Parent Groups: Caring for a child with special needs often requires extra support. Connecting to a group of parents facing similar challenges can help reduce stress and provide resources.
4. Hobby-Based Groups: If you have a hobby or interest outside of parenting, look for a group centered around that. Connecting over a shared interest gives you an opportunity to maintain your own identity and engage in self-care.
Don’t feel limited to just one group. Having a diverse support system will provide the empathy and advice you need for all areas of your life as a mom. Make an effort to truly connect with other moms by exchanging phone numbers, grabbing coffee, or setting up playdates. Strong bonds with like-minded moms can make a world of difference in embracing your mommy style with confidence and joy.
Make the Most of the Moment
Making the most of each moment with your little ones is so important. Their childhood will be over before you know it, so embrace the small moments and truly be present. Focus on simple pleasures and make meaningful interactions and connections. Some key ways to make the most of each moment include:
Focusing your attention. Put away distractions like your phone and make eye contact. Listen to what your child is saying and engage with them fully. Show interest in their activities, thoughts, and feelings.
Slowing down. Take time to pause and be still together. Sit outside and stargaze at night. Turn off electronics and read books together. Bake cookies or do an art project side by side. Engaging in unstructured play allows creativity and bonding to unfold.
Capturing memories. Take photos and videos of ordinary moments and special occasions. Get prints of your favorites and create physical photo books or photo slideshows to share together. Looking through memories of good times will become more meaningful as your child gets older.
Creating meaningful traditions. Establish routines and rituals that you share as a family. Things like a special bedtime story, a weekend brunch date, or a vacation you take together each year. Traditions build connection through anticipation, experience, and remembrance.
Expressing affection. Don’t miss an opportunity to give your child a hug, hold their hand, and give them your full attention. Speak words of affirmation and praise. Physical touch and verbal expressions of affection are so important for the development and building of security in your relationship.
The moments you have with your little ones are fleeting. While the days may feel long, the years are short. Make the choice each day to be fully present and pour into them with your time, attention, and affection. The investment you make now will yield rewards for years to come in your relationship. Focus on embracing each stage of their development and enjoying them for who they are.
My Mommy Style FAQs: Frequently Asked Questions About Finding Your Style
As a new mother, you may have many questions about finding your own mommy style. Here are some of the most frequently asked questions and answers to help guide you.
What exactly is a “mommy style”?
Your mommy style refers to the unique way you choose to parent based on your personal values, priorities, and instincts. It encompasses everything from how much independence you give your child to your views on screen time and extracurricular activities. Your mommy style evolves as your child grows and develops their own personality. The most important thing is finding what works for your family.
How do I figure out my mommy style?
Identifying your mommy style takes self-reflection and trial and error. Some things to consider include:
- Your parenting philosophy: Are you more permissive, authoritative, or attachment-focused?
2. Your values and priorities: What do you want to instill in your child? Independence, creativity, kindness?
3. Your parenting instincts: Go with what feels right for your family. You know your child best.
4. Your lifestyle: Consider how much structure vs. flexibility works for your family’s schedule and needs.
5. Start with small decisions: Choose a mommy style for issues like bedtime, meals, and activities and see how it goes. You can always adjust.
Will my mommy style change as my child gets older?
Most likely, yes. Children’s needs change dramatically as they age, so your mommy style will adapt to meet those needs. For example, you may start out very attached and nurturing with an infant but become more permissive and independence-granting as your child enters the teen years. The key is maintaining open communication and setting appropriate boundaries at each stage.
What if my mommy style is different from my partner’s or other parents’?
Having differing parenting styles can be challenging, but with compromise, you can make it work. Focus on the areas where your styles align and have honest conversations about where they differ. Be open-minded towards other perspectives and willing to try new approaches. Ultimately, choose what is right for your child and family. Comparing yourself to other parents will only lead to self-doubt and anxiety. Every family is different, so embrace the mommy style that makes you feel most confident and at ease.
As you reflect on what kind of mother you want to be, remember that there is no right or wrong way to parent. What matters most is that you love your child unconditionally. Focus on embracing the mother you are rather than chasing some unrealistic ideal. Learn from your mistakes, forgive yourself for your imperfections, and appreciate each small victory. Your child will thrive simply by having your caring support and guidance. Do not let self-doubt hold you back from enjoying this precious time. You have everything within you already to be the mother your child needs. Believe in yourself and keep moving forward one day at a time. The rewards of motherhood await.